Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
