My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think my mom watched the whole time
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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