i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
