I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This baby is an asshole
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
