No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
