she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
