Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
