Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
