Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
