Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
sarcasm needs its own font
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
