I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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