Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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