He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
