Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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