Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
