i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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