Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
