im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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