What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
