There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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