still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
