I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
