Non-Jews are for practice
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
