So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
