I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
