And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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