he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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