I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
