jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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