It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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