this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
