Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
