there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
