i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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