K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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