We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
