Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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