guys are not supposed to queef...right?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
