i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had to cum in my sink.
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