your room smells of hookers.
And success
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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