is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
