My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
