bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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