I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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