So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They have beer where we have blood.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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