Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
