i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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