I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
