The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
