Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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